Q&A: Why does my karma stick to me?
Doership, enjoyership, and the dissolution of self
Note: These next few articles will be devoted to answering questions asked by readers. If you have questions, please submit them by clicking the button below. No questions are off limits.Om Sri Gurubhyo Namah. Salutations to all the teachers.
Why does my karma stick to me? What makes it mine? How can I let go of my karma?
योऽयं विज्ञानमायाः प्राणेषु हृदि स्फुरत्ययं ज्योतिः।कूटस्थः सन्नात्मा कर्ता भोक्ता भवत्युपाधिस्थः॥YoAyam vigyaanaMaayaah praaneshu hrdi sphuratyayam jyotihkootasthah sannAatmaa kartaa bhoktaa bhavatiUpaadhisthahThe Self, self-illuminating, Pure Awareness, shines in the midst of the Praanas, within the heart. Though unmoving, it [as if] becomes the agent (ie. kartaa) and experiencer (ie. bhoktaa) due to the superimposition of the vijnaanamaya kosha (ie. the buddhi) upon It.
- Adi Shankaracharya, Vivekachudamani 189
Thank you for your question 🙏🏽
Karma, as we have been discussing over the past several articles, is simply cause and effect in relation to actions. For more on the topic, you can take a look at the past few articles at the links below:
At the root of the question of karma (ie. action) lies the idea of agency.
Actions, after all, don’t happen in isolation. If there is an action, there must - at the very least - also be an actor, and an acted-upon object (or instrument of action).
If we look closely, we will see that these categories - verb (ie. action), subject (ie. actor), and object (ie. acted-upon) - are, in fact, grammatical categories.
In our minds, we tend to look at ourselves as characters in a story. There is an actor - the one called “me” - who goes through a series of situations, doing certain actions, and experiencing certain results. Within the mind this life story appears as a combination of memory and imagination, and is repeated from time to time to ensure its stability.
Without some form of repetition, the story starts to fade, and along with it, our idea of self.1
Normally, we feel as though the story is dependent on the character. Without the character, after all, there would be no story to tell. However, we most often neglect the fact that the reverse is also true.
Without the story, there is no character.
The character rests upon the story just as much as the story rests upon the character. They are interdependent, like bales of hay resting upon each other.
The actor, the action, and the acted-upon arise and fall together.
The actor is not an actor unless there is an action and an acted-upon. The action does not exist without the actor or the acted-upon. The acted-upon is not acted upon unless there is an actor and an action.
P: What does this have to do with karma?
In saying “I act” or “I did this”, the mind - specifically the ahamkaar - is taking credit for a variety of movements happening in nature.
Electrical impulses change the shape of muscles, which expand and contract, moving bones in particular ways, sending impulses back to the brain, in a highly complex dance that we could never even hope to voluntarily control, let alone at such speed, and with such grace. Yet, we take credit saying “I moved”, “I jumped” or “I walked.”
This credit-taking is a function of the ahamkaar - an aspect of the mind in Yoga. It is an extremely useful function - without it we would not be able to function in such a coordinated way, nor be able to easily communicate.
It is an abstraction - a sort of shorthand that helps to make our lives easier.
However, the problem arises when we take the shorthand for reality.
There is no actual little “I” sitting somewhere behind the eyes, driving the body. Rather, there is a very large collection of movements happening, and then, one little movement that appears saying “I did it.”
This idea is beautifully summarized in a famous verse from the Bhagavad Gita, used a few times in previous articles:
प्रकृते: क्रियमाणानि गुणै: कर्माणि सर्वश:।अहङ्कारविमूढात्मा कर्ताहमिति मन्यते॥Prakriteh kriyamaanaani gunaih karmaani sarvashahAhamkaaraVimoodhaAtmaa kartaAhamIti manyateNature is the doer of all actions, the gunas truly do everything.
Confused by the ahamkaar, the Self considers itself to be the doer.
- Bhagavad Gita, 3.27
The same teaching shows up later in the Bhagavad Gita once again:
प्रकृत्यैव च कर्माणि क्रियमाणानि सर्वश:।य: पश्यति तथात्मानमकर्तारं स पश्यति॥PrakritiEva cha karmaani kriyamaanaani sarvashahyah pashyati tathaAtmaanamAkartaaram sa pashyetThose alone truly see, who see that nature is the doer of all actions, and that the Self does not act.
- Bhagavad Gita, 13.30
To summarize this, the mind takes a collection of perceptions, and superimposes upon it the idea of agency - the imagination that there is a singular, independent actor, or agent, running the show. It is very similar to when we see a shape in a cloud or a Rorschasch plot - there is no object there, but we see it by superimposing an idea upon it.
This idea of doership or agency is known as kartrittva (कर्तृत्त्व), and is a result of avidya.
But that’s not the end of it.
Karma - as we have learned - involves the causes as well as the consequences. The most basic view of karma is as follows: actions are causes (hetu), which result in consequences, or fruit (phala).
We have covered, above, how the first part of karma - the actions, or the cause - are appropriated by the individual. But as long as there is an agent to act, there must also an experiencer to experience the results of those actions.
Just as the actions, the acted upon, and the actor are dependent upon each other for their mutual existence like bales of hay leaning upon each other, experience, the experienced, and the experiencer are mutually interdependent upon each other as well.
In Reality, there is just Experience - the waker and the waking world arise and fall together, the dreamer and the dream world arise and fall together - yet, due to avidya, we act as though they are somehow separate.
This separation separates Experience into three - bhokta, bhog, and bhogya - the experiencer, experience, and the experienced.
Then, we take a part of this, and identify with it to the exclusion of all else.
That is, even though they rise and fall together, we don’t identify with all of the objects, but some of them.
We usually choose the mind, the thoughts, and sometimes the body, and call it “me.” For example, when you say “I am hurt”, you may mean that your physical body is somehow injured. However, you may not be referring to the body at all, but rather exclusively be referring to the mind.
In either case, we create a mental construct with the designation of the “experiencer” of results, and identify with it. Then, when results occur as a combination of the triad (aka triputi) of experiencer-experience-experienced (bhokta-bhog-bhogya), we say “this happened to me”, as though there were truly a separation between the three inseparable components of Experience.
This separation, and identification with the bhoktaa, to the exclusion of the bhog and bhogya, is known as bhoktrittva (भोक्तृत्त्व) - literally “enjoyership.” The term “enjoyer” in English tends to refer to only positive experiences. However, the noun bhoktr does not make any such distinciton.
In summary, these two ideas - kartrittva and bhoktrittva - doership and enjoyership - are the reason that “your” karma sticks to “you.” Your karma is only yours insofar as you identify as the doer, and further, the results are only yours insofar as you identify as the enjoyer.
“The individual perceives that life is happening to him, whereas the one who has relinquished his individuality perceives that life is merely happening. This is the state wherein tension cannot arise.”
- Wu Hsin
P: So then should I just hurt others and say that I am not the doer?
Jogi: This teaching is not a moral code of conduct, or a set of commandments to be followed. It is a search for truth.
P: Ok but the question still stands - why should I be good to others if I am not the doer?
Jogi: Ultimately by harming others you will suffer.
P: How?
Jogi: By harming others you strengthen the boundary between self and other. This boundary - avidya - is the root cause of suffering. By strengthening this boundary, you exacerbate the cause of your suffering, and so make it more difficult to stop suffering.
P: But I am not the enjoyer either, so why does it matter if I suffer?
Jogi: If it does not matter to you, then there is no reason for it to matter to anyone else. The first step in Yoga is to want to stop suffering. There is no compulsion.
P: Ok, you caught me. I don’t want to suffer. So then what should I do?
Jogi: That is what Yoga is for. You can start here.
For more on why one should be good to others, take a look at the article on ahimsa (non-violence) here:
The final part of your question - how to let go of karma - ties these ideas together beautifully.
The bonds of karma are ultimately dependent on the ideas of doership and enjoyership. There can be no action without a doer, and no consequences without an experiencer.
Now it certainly feels like there is a doer and an experiencer - as long as there is a “me”, both of these ideas stick around too. So what to do about it? How do we get rid of the “me”? That doesn’t sound particularly appealing.
Lucky for us, the “me” idea is just that - an idea.
“Getting rid of the me” is less like extinguishing a fire, and more like realizing there was no fire to begin with.
Traditional examples compare this to realizing that a snake seen in the darkness was just a rope after all, or realizing that the mirage is not water. The act of knowledge is sufficient to rid the mind of the false “me” idea.
“If you could get rid of yourself just once,The secret of secrets would open to you.The face of the unknown,Hidden beyond the Universe,Would appear on the mirror of your perception.”- Rumi
However, without weakening the mind’s hold on the “me” idea, one cannot truly let go of karma.
If we are honest with ourselves, we likely feel as though there is truly an independent, separate, autonomous self. We also likely feel suffering, and hanker for fulfillment.
As long as we feel this way, we must use our sense of individuality in order to break free from it, rather than bypassing it through delusion. It is easy to delude oneself into thinking that we have given up the idea of doership, while still retaining a strong sense of separateness. We can identify this in ourselves if we feel a sense of even the slightest superiority to others. If this is the case, we can acknowledge it, and return to our practice.
For more on this topic, in particular the practice of Karma Yoga , you can take a look at the article here:
I hope this has helped to clarify your questions. As always, please do not hesitate to reach out with follow ups or additional questions by responding to this email or clicking on the button below:
Additionally, you can find more on the topic of doership, enjoyership, and dissolution of the “me” idea in the two articles below:
Side note, in case anyone is interested:
As an aside, the Self, Ultimate Reality, or Brahman (ब्रह्मन्), is known as SatChitAnanda (सच्चिदानन्द) - Existence-Consciousness-Bliss. This Universe - “me” and “you” included - is an illusory appearance, or vivarta (विवर्त), superimposed upon Brahman.
Sat-vivarta (सत्विवर्त) - the illusory appearance superimposed upon Existence - is kaarya-kaarana - cause and effect, or karma. It manifests as the sense of agency, and the innate desire to exist for as long as possible, do as much as possible, etc.
Chit-vivarta (चित्विवर्त) - the illusory appearance superimposed upon Consciousness - is drashtaa-drishya - the seer and the seen, or knowledge. It manifests as the sense of wanting to know as much as we can, the innate desire to absorb as much information as possible through our senses.
Finally, Ananda-vivarta (आनन्दविवर्त) - the illusory appearance superimposed upon Bliss - is bhokta-bhogya - enjoyer and enjoyed, or experience. This manifests as the sense of enjoyership, and the innate desire to feel fulfilled and happy.
All of these transformations lead us to move around the world, acting, experiencing results, responding to those actions once again, and thus moving endlessly through samsara, until, like a dog chasing its own tail, we Realize that we were It all along.
Incidentally, it is the fear of discontinuity - the fifth klesha (aka abhinivesha) - that results in rumination, since the mind, confusing the idea of self with the Self, would rather suffer than lose the crutch of a stable - although false - identity.
Just amazing!
Please never stop this series 🙏🏻